Is there anything more horrifying than reading something you wrote years ago?
……Or two days ago?
I’m pretty sure if a Boggart were to appear in front of me one dark and stormy night, it would take on the form of the manuscript I wrote in high school.
It was your standard paranormal romance, only with a ghost and psychic rather than a vampire. The genre for the blood-suckers had already been pimped out to the extreme so I was going to write one about ghosts who were depreciating in popularity.
I was so convinced this was going to be my magnum opus I spent literally years on it. I even took it to a writer’s workshop to have it read by a mostly adult audience. Unfortunately, I never finished it because I progressively outgrew the message I was trying to convey.
A couple of months ago, I revisited it to see how I’ve progressed as a writer over the years.
It was unquestionably the most unintentionally funny thing I’ve ever written. That’s including the novel I wrote on a notepad when I was 9 years old that featured a holocaust victim and the daughter of a Nazi general jumped out of a helicopter with no parachute and somehow landing safely on the ground.
I blame Peter Pan for giving me false exceptions of gravity.
I spent four hours writing last night, time to edit! I feel so good about this one.
*reads 4 paragraphs*
Never let me write again.
— Aspiring Author (@AspireYAAuthor) January 24, 2016
When I become rich and famous, I’ll bury all my old writings in a secret tomb underneath my house. It’ll be guarded by a dragon that sounds like Benedict Cumberbatch and speaks only in German.
If there’s anything embarrassing you’ve written feel free to share.
I’ll cry with you.